I Look at All the Lonely People

I look at all the lonely people. Maybe I see loneliness because of my own feeling of isolation. Its hard to find a meaningful conversation these days. My son, 20 months old, is a joy in life, but we rarely get to talk about the deeper things in life... My husband is so loving and works hard for our family, and comes home for some family play time, but he grows more weary every day. And then, once a week, we have friends come over to watch our television. They are kind people, and they are regularly in our lives. And yet, the time we spend together doesn't have a personal component very often.

Over time, I have noticed that human beings don't look in each others eyes. I try to look at peoples eyes, but I find it is rare that eyes look back. Sometimes they don't look back because they are looking elsewhere. Sometimes they don't look back at me because they are vacant. Sometimes they don't look back because they are afraid to be seen.


When our eyes don't look at each other, I think that means we don't see each other - I think we completely miss each other. How can we care for people that we don't see?


We need to see people - with a really good look - to understand who they are... to understand what their authentic need is... to understand how to care for them.

When people are left without care, they are alone. Isolated. And I look at all the lonely people.

I am one of the lonely people.



Our eyes illuminate who we are. When someone looks at us, and we allow them to see into our eyes, we betray ourselves. It is a vulnerable thing - and when we are not used to it, we feel exposed, and even violated.

We don't look at each other because we don't want to be an open book. We want to be in control of what people know about us. Either because we are trying to hide something about ourselves, or because we don't like ourselves, or because we are afraid that others wont like us or understand us.

We are afraid to be seen.

We are afraid of what we see in others - busy, skeptical, priorities.

We've become accustomed to "professional distance" as "ethical distance."

We feel our lives are private, and others don't have a right to know us.

We feel we should likewise respect other peoples privacy, and so, when people open up to us, even with eye contact, we feel a reciprocal threat.

I see the lonely people.